SEC Media Days Biggest Revelation: Tim Tebow Is A Virgin

"Sorry gals... I'm saving myself for Jenn Sterger."

Tim Tebow is a busy man.

When he’s not winning national championships, saving kittens stranded in trees, circumcising Philippino children, or tip-toeing around reporter’s puddles of drool, Tebow likes to spend his time NOT GETTING LAID.

After the demise of the slush fund in the mid-80’s, and the advent of random drug testing, poon became one of the last fringe benefits a college football player was free to enjoy. To this day, many high school commitments hinge on the quality of poon at the prospective university.

Poon-tang was apparently not a factor for Timmy when he chose to attend The University of Florida.

Clay Travis of AOL fanhouse proves himself to be the ballsiest reporter of the entire weekend by posing this question.

And yes – the question was completely fair. Tebow presents himself as some sort of deity that just happens to be trapped here on earth with the rest of us, so in turn, a question of this nature is in no way “out of bounds”.

If you listen to the clip closely, after Tebow responds, the sound of a million women hitting the floor as they faint can be heard…

I am thoroughly convinced that by holding back his wad for all these years, he has been bestowed with some sort of super-human athletic ability; after all, boxers go for months before a big match without “getting their freak on”. Anyone who has ever seen Robert DeNiro pouring ice water down his crotch in ‘Raging Bull’ is aware of this time honored sports superstition…

I hereby propose that due to his chastity and penchant for amateur circumcisions, Tebow should henceforth be known as ”The Virgin Surgeon”.

I’m sure that when he finally does decide to perform the act; his partner will wonder if there is a chunk of kryptonite stuffed under the mattress. I doubt it will be a “Heisman-worthy” performance…

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