UT’s eleven pronged attack on the word of college football suffered a temporary setback on New Year’s eve, when crafty old fart Frank Beamer and the Hokies shellacked the unsuspecting Vols by a score of 37-14.
Fear not Vols – it’s all part of Kiffin’s master plan, which also includes whoring out coeds and pellet gun larceny.
Now that the Vols season has finally come to an end, we can all look forward to the time when Kiffin really puts on a show – the off season.
Between now and next August, be on the lookout for cheating accusations, verbal beratings of grandmothers, gas pumping comments, and homo erotic team photo shoots.
With any luck, the next batch of Atlanta recruits will soon be on their way to Knoxville to make their official visits, which will hopefully be as eventful as last season’s trip –
Douglass defensive lineman Garrison Smith said the lights in the room dimmed. “This one coach stayed behind and walked to the side of the room. Then he kept slamming the [side] doors, as if the other assistant coaches were trying to break it down. It was like an angry dog or some wild animals were on the other side.”
After a few moments, Smith said the doors swung open and the Tennessee assistants ran into the room. “By now, three or four coaches had their shirts ripped off.” Smith said around 10 Tennessee players, including All-America defensive back Eric Berry of Atlanta and quarterback Jonathan Crompton, ran down from behind the recruits to meet the coaches on the floor. “Eric and the rest of the players were chanting ‘U-T, wild boys … U-T, wild boys … U-T wild boys.’”
Smith added: “I loved it, especially when that coach ripped off his shirt like The Incredible Hulk. It was high intensity. I enjoyed the whole day. They [Tennessee] definitely moved up on my list.”